Creative Writing

Anxiety’s Mistress

Gut wrenching.

Sharp jolts in the chest.
Shortness of breath.

That crippling fear that holds you like a rope in that moment you’re stuck inside.

Plaguing your mind like symbiote ooze…trying to convince you that nothing feels right. 

Discomfort. 

Unrest.

Anxiety is a crippling disorder effecting the lives of many that we know. A little over 18% of the population between the ages of 18-54 suffer from some form of anxiety. (1). I’m a little surprised that statistic isn’t higher to be honest. I have a feeling that in a couple of years due to social media, that we will see a rise in anxiety. If we haven’t already. I feel that the constant comparing that we’ve become accustomed to because of online posting has created a whole new form of anxiety. We wonder why we’re not doing the things the other person our age from our town is doing.

When I booked shows for bands a while back, it was surprising to me to find how many of those in bands didn’t enjoy the social aspect of being in a band. They enjoyed playing music and they enjoyed working with their band mates but when it came time to play at a venue no matter how small, anxiety would set in and they would want it to be over as quickly as possible.

My anxiety begin in the womb. Now you’re going to ask yourself how the hell would she know that? Well, I was born with a wrinkly thumb and the sonogram showed me sucking my thumb in the womb. This is a behavior associated with a stressed-out baby or child… which comes from a stressed-out mother. My mom was 21 when she had me and had lost her own mother to ovarian cancer just a few months before I was born. In addition to the relatively dysfunctional upbringing she had, this was the perfect recipe for a severely stressful pregnancy in the late seventies. 

I was a very anxious child around my parents and sucked my thumb until I was in kindergarten. I had to get these medieval like orthodontics to finally break me of the thumb sucking habit. Of course, all I did was trade nervous habits and to this day I have been an avid finger nail biter. It is the only addictive trait that I possess and the only thing I have never been able to quit or give up.

Because of things that happened to me in my adult life (stick around… I have tons of crazy stories), I have found ways to cope with anxiety and use yoga, meditation, and herbal methods to treat it. I used to go the pharmaceutical route but being on Xanax for 6 or 7 years took its own toll and I realized I needed to get off of it immediately.

It helps me to discuss the thoughts that cause me anxiety. Face to face social circles are shrinking and I feel we owe it to one another to have in person conversations. I love my online outlets, but nothing can replace the connection and calm of a friend in front of you telling you that things will be okay and that they believe you. That’s been the best remedy for anxiety that I’ve ever found. 

Maybe if we practiced that more, the sweeping anxiety society feels would lessen. 
Please feel free to share your thoughts on anxiety and how it effects you. 
(1). http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-statistics-information.shtml

Advertisements
articles

The fine art of Control and Letting Go

Whether by choice or not, letting go of things like material possessions, incidences or emotional pain will enable you to better adapt to change and be more free. Not being tied to material things or emotion allows you to think more clearly about the present and future. Think of Spring cleaning. Don’t you feel incredibly better when the house is organized and free of clutter?  Our minds and emotions function much in the same way.

Control seems to coincide a bit with letting go. The more we feel the need to control situations or people, the less likely we are to be able to let go. I tried to think of it in terms of can I actually do something about this? Or is the outcome Beyond My Control anyway and am I feeling myself with needless worry?

During 2010 my house burned down and I lost just about everything. Whatever wasn’t completely lost was definitely damaged and I had to say goodbye to a lot of sentimental things. That incident definitely changed the rest of my life because now I don’t have an extreme attachment to material possessions like I used to. I had things that I thought I could not live without, then they were taken from me without my say-so and I was left with a decision. 

Either let it destroy me or get through it with a new lease on life. I chose the latter.

Something that came out of the tragedy was the feeling of knowing I needed very little to actually be happy and survive on top of being very grateful for the possessions that I did have. And I’m telling you, moving was a whole lot easier when everything just fit in the trunk of a car. Lol

I also enjoy having room for new possessions to enjoy. There’s only SO much room to live in and utilizing it with important materials makes so much sense.  

Creative Writing

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Hello friends and fellow humans, happy Monday to all of you!

Change is an action of life that is completely inevitable. We can institute change or change can inflict itself upon us without our expressed written consent. Most people, I have discovered, do not handle change well and certainly don’t welcome it. People like to be stuck in routine for some reason. I guess it’s comfortable, familiar and doesn’t cause us to have to think of any new things. Routine does have its positive aspect in that practice makes perfect! Routine allows us to do things so consistently that we should be getting better at them. That’s really the only time I involve myself in the action of routine.

I’m not sure when or how it happened but somewhere along the way I became quite chameleon like. Plummeted into so much involuntary change, (near fatal car accidents, house fire, robbery & identity theft) I played the cards I was dealt and now I’m left enjoying the sensation and thrill of new things. 

Most recently, I uprooted myself from the several years of stability I had created in order to try to find the internal peace that I have been lacking. It was frightening. It caused me a degree of unrest and pain. But I did it anyway. 

The payoff was worth it. It’s difficult to overcome the fears that are instilled in us by nature, we’ll never know if there’s anything out there unless we try.

What is the most frightening change that you’ve ever had to deal with in your life?

Creative Writing

Cooking Up a Healthy Serving of Soul

Hey there everybody, happy weekend!

I never really liked cooking when I was a teenager, of course how many teenagers do?

As I got older, I became interested in cooking and begin to achieve a certain level of a joy from it. Living by myself for many years allowed me to realize that I enjoyed cooking but only when it was enjoyed by others.

I like meshing together flavors and ideas creating new things to taste but I like the feedback. I like to see the reaction of people when they try it. I enjoy the sensations and the fizzle inside my body that occurs whenever I see somebody eating the delicious food I prepared. I’m sharing myself. I’m sharing my mind. I’m sharing my palate. And I’m sharing nourishment. It’s a form of art that so many have forgotten.

Enjoy your next meal as if it were a ceremony. We have so many opportunities in each day to relish individual tiny moments and appreciate them for what they are.

Creative Sprint 4.17

Creative Sprint into Spring!

Hi there!
I was involved in the Art-O-Mat art project many years ago and met many brilliant artists. Noah Scalin was one of those amazing artists. He dazzled me with his skull a day project and i have been an avid follower and supporter ever since. 

The annual Creative Sprint is a self-driven, month long exploration into your creative side. You may pick a theme or just go with the flow. The daily emails give you ideas with which to base your creativity on. That little birdie whispering in your ear…that inspiration dancing on the breeze.

Join us in self-expression and preservation of the arts!  And don’t forget to share!!!

It’s free, link ⏬⏬⏬

http://anotherlimitedrebellion.us3.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=9e47e66aae1397e5de7a228e9&id=23702a9783&e=ea6a9c4aae

Enjoy your evening!

Pieces for Sale in Shop

Why I’m TheCuriousSpider- the Etsy tie in

Happy Thursday all! 

I’m giving my linked accounts a trial run here…  My blog, as you may or may not know, is titled after My shop since it all encompasses the same aspect of me. The same part of my mind is behind the creation of both words and ideas, manifesting with paint or beads or shells. 

Its all an organic process that is a journey. Our place in time to be cherished. 
That being said….⏬⏬⏬Give my shop a visit. 🙂  
Check out this item in my Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/listing/508010586/orange-pink-and-green-dragonfly-sewable

Pieces for Sale in Shop

The Body as a Brush Project

Hello and good evening!

In my efforts to find continual inspiration within myself and new ways to express that inspiration, I have begun a new project that I call ‘the Body as a Brush’ project. 

What if…in some futuristic world of an apocalyptic nature…there are no brushes? Not much canvas anywhere? Barely any paint to be found? Underground artists hiding in the shadows of the postrumpalypse…using charred remains of the burned buildings for the medium or remnants of melted wax. Using make shift paint on old windows or scraps of found wood. Because that’s the only thing that’s left…
Process: Starting small and simple, from the bottom up with acrylics and canvas paper, I created my first series of 4 ocean themed pieces. 

Roots of the Chi (above)

Squid in the Reef 

Anemones on the coral

Underwater Sunset

For these pieces, I washed my feet and slathered them with paint to create the reef and coral for the watery scenes. Spring and St. Patrick’s Day had me feeling the green.

This was a fun project to dust off the rust and be creative! 

Uncategorized

Hi hi hi there!

Thanks for visiting! 

I’ve always enjoyed writing and using words for an outlet. Having started at what I now realize was actually early, in the 7th grade with the wonderfully amazing Ms. Penny Pence, I’ve experienced too vast of a break. 

Recently I vacated Pittsburgh and returned to North Carolina, this time to the coast. I fell in love with the sandy beaches, historic town and super cute at home vibe. Never shaking the feeling that I belonged here, destiny intervened and allowed me to return.

I decided to name this blog after my ‘TheCuriousSpider’ shop on Etsy and Instagram since they are also the artistic extension of myself, as this will be. It seemed logical to link it up namewise.

Welcome and feel free to participate!

– Heather aka Spiderchik