articles · Creative Writing · Memoirs-Excerpts of My Real Life Experiences

Direction and where to go

Mind opening experiences are good for the soul and allow us to notice pathways for sharing that may not have been there before.

A clarity like no other that will allow you the insight for direction.

I write from this place- my mind and soul…unaware if anyone is even reading this.

I like that. No pressure. No likes needed. Conversation always welcomed. We can even meet up and talk if you want.

I’m a face to face’er.

Dying breed.

Memoirs to come…

Yours So Very Truly,

Spiderchik

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articles · Creative Writing

Porch Swing

The slow sounds of the liquid drip….drop…splash…against the leaves. Against the concrete.

Commerce is a delicate hum in the distance, carrying its voice through the fog and the moisture.

The feathered ones chime in periodically as they awaken. I imagine them broadcasting the morning traffic report to each other and sharing news of the ocean from seagulls.

Busting through the silence is a shirtless running man. His sneakers sound sandy and gritty as they scuff against pavement. He doesn’t see me. Silent observing from the veil of the porch swing shadow.

Only ten minutes has passed, but the fog is already lifting and the sky is splitting open to reveal the light underbelly of the new day.

articles · Creative Writing

Watercolor & Painting

Previously, I didn’t like watercolors.

At all.

I hated the opaque transparency and how they didn’t layer with a thickness of acrylic.

Maybe it’s the ocean air…perhaps the new fascination of painting the watery subject matter around me…but my new love of watercolor has ignited because of watercolor pens. Its one of those annoying IG ads that popped up….but it was a wonderful experience.

Using various techniques with salt, sand, oil & alcohol an effect can be created that adds depth and feeling to a watercolor painting. No more single layer transparency.

Art is not defined anyway…who says watercolors can’t be reinvented with a thickness of blood?

I, for one, enjoy breaking molds.

articles · Creative Writing

Inspiration versus Imitation

I feel like a broken episode of Black Mirror on technological repeat, but with my age and existence I’m stuck in this constant realization of the way things were versus the way things are.

This topic of thought arose from my own personal battle between inspiration and imitation. With social media, there’s little to be left to the imagination in the personal arena. While Instagram is a flurry of artistry, I think that artists are giving way too much away.

As an artist, your art and your craft is your own technique and that’s what makes the soul of what you are creating. Almost like a trademark. I truly believe that they are personal and are not to be shared. Sharing the finished product is something different. But the process by which it’s created is the personality that I Infuse into it and that is the intimate ritual.

There is an overtone of hippocracy if you are videotaping a process & posting it online and then becoming angry because somebody created something similar to yours.

There must be secrets in order to avoid imitation. Then the only thing left is inspiration.

There lies the difference.

Example: I see a real skull that has crystals fastened to it with clay. Its purple with quartz. Now, if I attempt to replicate it…that’s imitation.

If I use the idea of clay with bone and crystals to create a sculpture, then THAT is inspiration.

No matter how you view it, creating something no one has ever seen is quite the task for an artist. I’m confident originality still exists, we just need to look beyond what we know to find the freedom to see it.

articles · Creative Writing

The Evolution of Human Behavior

It’s not about learning all we can and getting to some ‘point’ of stopping. That would work out beautifully if the world would stop changing. But we know it’s not. And it won’t.

What we’ve got to do is adapt. Adaptation requires learning. Learning requires teaching. It’s a process, an action. Not an object with a definitive end result.

We learn from each other. Actions, words. If we take the time to explain to someone that takes the time to listen, a beautiful thing occurs.

Knowledge.

We teach each other. Every day we have the capacity to learn new things if we can put aside that part of our ego that stops us. Gets embarrassed. Feels vulnerable.

If we allow ourselves to know we could use some help with understanding, we won’t be so quick to resist it.

I feel as if social media has backfired and is now causing us to feel more isolated from each other than connected. It seems to bring out the negativity in people and the lashing out instead of the open forum for discussion, which I imagine was the intended platform when this idea first came to pass.

People as a whole, families and friends, find little to no time to be in each other’s physical company. I’ve had online discussions (the irony) about this phenomenon and it seems to be most age groups experience the same thing. Families just aren’t getting together as much as they used to. Friends are not going over to each other’s houses. There is some sort of isolation between human beings that is occurring because we are infiltrated with devices and alternative ways to stay connected.

The lack of human touch in society now is creating issues and I will address this further in an article to come.

No matter how you look at it we are in the throes of human behavior changing, evolving into something that has been heavily influenced by technology and social media. Only years down the road will we be able to look back and see where it all began. And I think what we will find it was right around now.

As always, thoughts and opinions are welcomed in discussion.

articles · Creative Writing

Chronicles of a Childless Mother

Ovulation.

Only since freeing myself from the confines of birth control have I been able to fully feel my body.

Every thing. The changes. Physical activity and gym results can actually be felt, sensed and measured. Each muscle I work, every ache and pain.

During the 48 hour span that happens twelve times a year, I feel like an alien. Eggs. I have eggs. And they move in tubes inside my body.

What about that doesn’t sound completely insane?!

The thoughts that accompany it…from reassessing my worth as a human to imagining myself as a mother or wife. Wondering if any of that will ever actually happen.

The window is closing…although I’m unsure of how quickly. The inability to put a time frame on these things is maddening in itself.

How long do I have if I want to be a mother? I’ve thought about it and waited 3 decades to decide. And now that I have, I fear it won’t happen and I’ll be left with no connection with this unmade part of me.

I’ve never been proposed to, so maybe I’m just not wife material. I might not be the type of person someone can see themselves getting older with.

These are some of the thoughts that plague the mind of a 39 year old unmarried and childless woman hitting the next stage of her life.

It feels more like a collision course set for hell on some days.

Comments and supportive conversation welcomed!

articles · Creative Writing

Human Beings: Creating Problems Where There Are None 

Is it that need for drama? The importance we feel when we’re solving crazy issues? The satisfaction in seeing the back end of resolution?

Maybe all of these things factor into why we, as human beings, find the need to create problems where there don’t need to be.

Social media. We could say that there are problems that have arisen from this. Behaviorial disorders being at the top of the list. * We definitely created that. Not with the intention of causing drama or more racism, but that is the underlying effect.

Bathroom gender segregation. This isn’t the first time we as humans have had issues with our defecation locations. The bathroom situation should have always been unisex for public places. Set up for whomever chooses to use it. Individual spaces for everyone. Making them gender specific in the first place seems to be another case of making a problem where there wasn’t one.

General butthurt. Yes, this is a useable grammatical phrase now. Communication has turned into a process that receives negative connotations. We are supposed to mind our own business and respect the individuality of others…but how are we supposed to learn unless we respectfully ask questions?

Take criticism!! Not everyone will like you or your thoughts and not everyone has to. Sensitivity to a degree is great if we’re applying it to the correct situation.

If we make it a point to be more aware each day, I’m almost certain that communication would open back up and we’d feel closer to our friends and family again.

articles

The fine art of Control and Letting Go

Whether by choice or not, letting go of things like material possessions, incidences or emotional pain will enable you to better adapt to change and be more free. Not being tied to material things or emotion allows you to think more clearly about the present and future. Think of Spring cleaning. Don’t you feel incredibly better when the house is organized and free of clutter?  Our minds and emotions function much in the same way.

Control seems to coincide a bit with letting go. The more we feel the need to control situations or people, the less likely we are to be able to let go. I tried to think of it in terms of can I actually do something about this? Or is the outcome Beyond My Control anyway and am I feeling myself with needless worry?

During 2010 my house burned down and I lost just about everything. Whatever wasn’t completely lost was definitely damaged and I had to say goodbye to a lot of sentimental things. That incident definitely changed the rest of my life because now I don’t have an extreme attachment to material possessions like I used to. I had things that I thought I could not live without, then they were taken from me without my say-so and I was left with a decision. 

Either let it destroy me or get through it with a new lease on life. I chose the latter.

Something that came out of the tragedy was the feeling of knowing I needed very little to actually be happy and survive on top of being very grateful for the possessions that I did have. And I’m telling you, moving was a whole lot easier when everything just fit in the trunk of a car. Lol

I also enjoy having room for new possessions to enjoy. There’s only SO much room to live in and utilizing it with important materials makes so much sense.